MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE

If you were to be taking an evening stroll in the North Park area, and happened upon the newly restored North Park Theatre in the heart of the neighborhood, you would find the shiny-finishedHawthorn’s restaurant. It is elegant in appearance, with sharp edges, mahogany wood, and striking theatrical photos of actors lit up on the walls. Peering through the window, under the large blinking marquee, you would see patrons enjoying their meals while being waited on with attentive service. All would seem as it should be, going according to plan.

Thus, you wouldn’t be roused to think there was a story behind the glass you are looking through; you would be wrong. For as we see time and again in life, there is a story behind everything. Things are usually different than what they seem, as appearances are misleading, and perception often quite different from reality. It takes a vision to create anything in life, but some visions outlast their creators.

Twenty years ago, a man named David Witt began a restaurant called 5th and Hawthorn’s, located in Banker’s Hill. Some of you are familiar with it, as it was quite popular with the locals. It was a distinct, quaint, quality place. They were known for their friendly service, good food, and fair prices. David was living a dream running this restaurant. He was a simple man who worked hard, made a decent living, and served his clients well. Up to this point, he didn’t have to deal with too many outside pressures of society trying to mold his vision or make him change with the times. Whatever free time he had, he enjoyed being active and in the outdoors. It is here where the tale begins, 8 years ago, when David and Rose Witt met.

This story starts with the time honored witticism, "opposites attract". These forces of nature were at work when Rose and David, both previously married, were dating one another, and then married 6 years ago. Rose was the stubborn and determined one, while David was laid-back and easy-going. The, "do whatever you have to do to get it done", doggedness of Rose, coming together with the young-at-heart, playfulness of David. It was a classic case of reality driven behavior needing a healthy dose of dreamy idealism, and vice versa. While Rose kept David happy and grounded, David introduced Rose to biking, as well as eating hotdogs and champagne while camping. David ran 5th and Hawthorn’s, while Rose ran a pre-school. They were happy as they supported and sustained each other in their quests.

For better or for worse though, the times keep a changin’, whether we are ready or not. Changes of society are out of our control, and in the name of progress things seem to get pushed onto a grander scale, getting more automated all the time. Thus it is often hard to keep heartfelt dreams alive, as they are forced to constantly adapt to the changing landscape of reality, or to be lost forever. The fact that things may not be how we had envisioned and planned for them to be, day in and day out, or worked so hard for them to be, is a hard thing to make peace with.

In keeping within this vein, two years ago a dose of realism from the changing structure of industry and business, knocked at David’s door. Just as computers and digital technology are making letter writing and the personal touch obsolete, so is corporate America making the small businessman obsolete. It was at this time that the owner of the property from whom David was leasing, wanted their property back to expand their own operation. They allowed him to do month to month leases for a while, until he was forced to leave. So now the project was to find a new location, which was no easy task seeing as how land has gotten so costly and almost unaffordable for the little guy. He would be contending with the big conglomerates out there like the Cohn Restaurant Group, who own a dozen restaurants in San Diego, and many other big chains who are spread far and wide to cover their bases.

Despite these obstacles, in early 2006 David found the current location, the historic 1928 North Park Theatre structure that was undergoing its restoration. The lease was much more expensive, and so too were the accompanying costs. He had dreamed of having an affordable, white linen restaurant, so this place would be a little more upscale. He and Rose needed to find a way to finance this venture, and they decided to take a gamble. They took the equity out of their house, and invested it into the business.

After the first several weeks, David’s dream of running the type of restaurant he wanted, was already being challenged. This was big business he was dealing with now, and all the requisite problems that go with it. Along with the unforeseen costs, constant delays, and myriad setbacks, he also had to deal with the unflinchingly high expectations and demands of customers, vendors, and contractors. I feel sorry for this man, having to deal with patrons whom he had thought were loyal customers, only to hear these ungrateful, non-understanding people berate him in his beginning efforts to get the operation going. To say the least, it was becoming quite an overwhelming ordeal for David. His old ideals and beliefs were no longer serving him well in the new times. However, they would prove hard to abandon, as they had become a fixed and precious part of his self-image and belief system.

While the bills and problems were piling up, his thoughts became negative and irrational, and he lost the ability to be focused in the moment. He started brushing the bills aside, as he mentally associated them with the eventual failure of the business. This wasn’t in fact the case, but allowing himself to become overwhelmed, he was no longer able to think clearly or see the big picture.

He viewed the struggle as bad, and gave into what he thought were insurmountable hurdles, when in actuality they could have been solvable in some new ways outside of his previously accepted thoughts. Instead of confronting the adversity, he gave into it. He lost touch with reality, and his whole identity became wrapped up in what he could only see as the inevitable doom of his dream.

Unfortunately and ultimately, his inability to accept the changing times and conform to the changing needs of his situation, led to his end. In August of 2006, he tragically took his own life, because he couldn’t see a way for it to all work out.

It didn’t have to be this way, and hopefully we all can learn from this situation. We all need to learn to accept uninvited and unwanted change, somehow finding a way to deal with it. Let us allow life to take us where it will, rather than trying to control it with our preconceived notions of how it should be. It is so important to be willing to flow with the needs and demands of the times. We don’t lose ourselves just because we have to adjust our notions or beliefs with changing circumstances. To be soft and bending is to be aligned with the fluidity of life.

The exquisite blessing that we have, is the luxury to be able to dream freely, as much or as little as we want, and to pursue as we so wish. There are no guarantees, so enjoy the journey. While in so doing, remember that we all have a profound impact on others, and our attitudes and behaviors are important not just for ourselves but for others around us as well, as we are all intertwined in this universe. We each make our own contributions to the world, in different ways that we don't even realize. Let us embrace this amazing spirit and life force within, and be thankful for each day we have.

A great embodiment of this flexibility that life calls for, is seen in Rose Witt. She has continued on with Hawthorn’s, and is carrying on David’s dream. She is determined, but she is not rigid. She finds a way to work within the constraints placed upon her. It was an overwhelming situation she found herself in, but with her endlessly optimistic outlook, and the help of her trusted employees, she has gone forward. She could have easily quit and walked away, but she has found a way to forge ahead in these newfound times.

Rose still runs the pre-school during the day, and can be found at the restaurant every night. She works tirelessly to oversee not only the big picture, but the daily activities as well. Although things don’t always go as she envisions or hopes for them to go, she doesn’t let these everyday fears and headaches deter her from forging ahead. She is ready for anything that may come her way.

She courageously takes on one issue at a time, doing whatever needs to be done, to somehow find a solution. She works hard to provide a great product. She makes it appear as though it is easy and that things are running smoothly, when in reality it is a difficult, day-to-day struggle. Her disciplined, composed nature, belie her bravery and heroism. Heroes have a way of making the seemingly impossible look natural. We thank you Rose for your courage, easy smile, and the inspiration you provide us in the face of utmost adversity.